New Sacred Music Guy at Duke

Welp, Duke is now complete. I've been blown away since I visited Duke Divinity school about how perfect of a fit it is. They have some of my favorite theologians, they are very intentional about involving students in ministry rather than just having them sit in a classroom, they take spiritual life seriously by having morning prayer every morning and setting up spiritual growth groups for us, they care deeply about the Church and at the same time bringing the gospel to the public realm. However, the one area I would have admitted that it's not ostensibly the BEST place to be trained for ministry is theology and arts. I think most people would say to go to Yale if you really want to focus in that area. Well, I just heard yesterday that Duke hired Jeremy Begbie to be a professor starting next year. From what I hear (I haven't read anything by him myself), he is a leading theologian in sacred music. They want him to teach classes and start a number of arts and theology initiatives. Since God has been rekindling my love of art, particularly music, over this past year, I'm very excited to have the opportunity to study under him.

This got me thinking about theology and art today. I admit that I'm still reluctant about that relationship because too often it seems like people really like music but they want to feel good about it, so they find some proof-text from scripture to show that 'God is the great artist,' or some such justification. But still, my boss told me that Jeremy Begbie says that classical music communicates the order of God. This is a huge simplification and third hand, but I think that's a neat idea. It makes me wonder - in modernity, music was neatly ordered, and so was theology (systematic theology). In postmodernity, liberal theology paralleled postmodern music - the twelve-tone stuff like Shoenberg. The postliberal theology that is quite present at Duke came out of dissatisfaction with modernity and postmodernity. It makes me wonder, what would postliberal music sound like? Postliberal theology views the Bible and the Church as a narrative that transcends the system of doctrines of modernity and chaos of postmodernity. How would postliberal music present that narrative but also present the fragments of liberalism and insufficiency of modernity?

Still a long way to go

I was talking with a new friend about spirituality a few days ago at the coffee shop, and I had realized that I'd forgotten how much people are scarred by a perverted form of Christianity. He talked of Jesus with such high regard, but it was sad to realize that his only frame of reference for Christians were were not very much like Jesus. One of the first things he brought up was "How can anyone who is racist say that they love God or follow Jesus?" Great point. Too many Christians think the race problem is a think of the past, but until my friend sees black and white Christians loving each other and fellowshiping together, he won't change his mind. Another thing he commented on was how Christians are focused on wealth and are willing to hurt the environment and go to war for money. Another great point. The testimony of the Christian witness was not the only thing skewed for him, but also the testimony of Christian worship. He had a problem with the idea of worship, so I explained that worship is an expression of humility. He said "Show me a humble Christian." During the conversation I found myself trying to emphasize that the essence of Christianity is in Jesus, and yes, many Christians sadly fit in with his descriptions, but they are not all like that. But I have to admit that it gets old trying to say something that I can't show him. I believe in Jesus, and I believe in the church, but I want so bad for the church to be a credible witness to the world, which will only happen if they start being more like Jesus. We need to reconciled to one another and love one another, and we need to be willing to serve the world rather than try to dominate it with money and power. And it's not just Christians who are doing it, but it's just sad when Christians can't say no to the evils around them.

I was encouraged to see Shane Claiborne's tour on CNN.com the other day. The thing I love about what Shane is doing is that it is nothing extraordinary from the perspective of what the lifestyle of a Christian should look like, but Shane and his crew are so intentional about being like Jesus that they bear witness to the world around them. He always emphasizes peculiarity - and the peculiarity is beautiful. I think that unless we take being like Jesus seriously, we'll blend in with the rest of the world until we realize that we're the oppressors ourselves, which we know is too often the case.

Here's a link to the website of the community Shane is a part of: http://www.thesimpleway.org/

One other thing this made me realize - Christians may think they're doing their job until they talk to someone who is not a Christian. It was talking to my new friend that reminded me that the Church has a long way to go. But with Jesus I have hope that it will go there.

Music

I was driving in the car with some friends of mine, listening to some new bands I hadn't heard, and it hit me like a fever that I need to make music more a part of my life. I asked my friend Sean who some of the bands were that we were listening to, and started writing them down. That night I watched "Once" for the third time - it's a movie about a busker in Ireland and the performance of his songs are the soundtrack throughout the movie. This is the movie that the song "Falling Slowly" came from. So I was watched Once again, and that added to my burning desire to listen to more music, write songs, and play songs for people. The next day I wrote a song.

So this onslaught of inspiration has come rather suddenly. I've had flashes of inspiration throughout the year, but this has been more of a light bulb that stays turned on. It comes with some humiliation though. I played an open mic a couple days ago, and let me first say that I thoroughly enjoyed it - I got to play some of my songs for people, I got to hear some other (good) songwriters and musicians, and one of the most exciting parts was being in that coffee-shop environment, meeting new people and having good conversation. But I felt somewhat deflated when I realized how rusty my songs, my guitar-playing, and my voice were. Part of me wanted to say 'Forget it, music was a thing of the past for you,' but then I realized why I wanted to make music again. I was inspired to make something beautiful. When the writer Reginald McKnight came to one of my classes last year he said 'There are three types of responses to beauty (literature, music, etc.): there's the critic who analyzes it and discerns how it can be better, there's the person who immerses her/himself in the beauty, and then there's the creative type who sees beauty and responds to it by wanting to make more beauty. I identified most with the third one - hands down.

I like to be creative, and I feel incomplete when it's missing from my life. I'm glad music is coming back. My friends Mike and Bernard have been key for helping me get back into it. Mike plays piano and we've been jamming and we're hoping to record later this summer. Bernard is a musical Jack-of-all-trades who plays drums, guitar, piano, makes hip hop beats, and is an excellent freestyle rapper. He invited me to busk with him and some friends at the downtown mall and we'll keep doing that. I love how music brings people together.

Kite Runner

The thing that stuck out to me the most was the role of suffering. In one of the most powerful parts of the book, Amir reads the letter that Rahim Khan writes him informing him that he knows about the secret he has kept for the past 15-20 years. This is in the midst of Amir's risky attempt to redeem his past by saving his deceased best friend's son (Sohrab), who has been abducted by the Taliban. The letter reads: "A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer." This epitomizes the conflict that Amir faces throughout the book - he has been privileged his whole life, and though he has not committed crimes to the degree of the juxtaposed Taliban criminals, his inaction eats away at him. After making the decision to save Sohrab, he begins a process of being liberated while his comoforts discarded. This allows him to share his past with his wife, which she embraces immediately because she has had a difficult past. The redemption is not perfect, which makes it seem real, but the story is hopeful overall.

The themes of violence and redemption are interesting to look at together too. There is certainly a conflict - Amir applauds Sohrab for violent actions toward the Taliban leader that oppressed him, but Sohrab doesn't seem convinced that it was the right thing because his father had told him that everyone can be redeemed and it is never right to hurt someone. It seems like Amir's opinion wins, which was disappointing - but Hosseini does a great job of painting that eternal question: Is violence necessary and permissive in cases of extreme oppression? My emotion was certainly bound up in that conflict.

The Kite Runner

I'm finally reading The Kite Runner. I'm close to the end, so I'll probably finish it in a couple days. I was interested right away with Amir's relationship with his friend Hassan - how he knew he treated him condescendingly, and was bothered by it, but not enough to change. I love how Hosseini makes Amir's faults subtle, but has them gradually lead more considerable consequences. There's not a whole lot to say about it right now because I haven't finished, but so far I'm kind of taken by the way that power and privilege is handled, by the social structures in both Afghanistan and America, and the kind of questions it poses about guilt and redemption.

Confession (cont.)

A couple more things...This means that things I learn should be relevant to my current experiences. I shouldn't get bogged down by conceptual theory. There's nothing wrong with learning things that aren't directly relevant, as they may be relevant at some point. But I should make sure that learning things related to my current experiences are first.

This will also mean more time spent with people and engaging in good conversation, and seeing incredible value to that. I think another root of this desire for living in the present with what I learn is that I think we get the most out of our relationships with other people - more so than books most of the time.

Confession

I have a confession to make. I've been stuck in a rut for I don't know how long, in which I've been so focused on the future that I haven't fully engaged with the present. A lot of this has concerned how I envision my vocation in life - in all aspects: job, friends, etc. And part of my vocation includes what I learn and how I share it with others. And since I'm going to seminary next year, I've been waiting until I become trained and prepared to share what I've been learning, which has prevented me from sharing the process. I have a confession: I dream of writing a book. That's embarrassing to admit because it's pretentious. But I'm getting fed up with myself being caught up in the future. I'm learning new things every day, and I'm engaging those things with people I love every day. So instead of preparing to live life, I'm ready to start living life right now.

I think this will mean more blog posts. It doesn't get the return that a book or article does, but it's present and it's real (haha, I write this as though more than 3 people actually read this...and that might be an exaggeration).